As citizens of an open and free society, Americans are regularly exposed to a variety of different opinions and viewpoints. While we collectively accept the right of people to express themselves as they see fit, there are certainly occasions where this noble ideal is put to the test. Sometimes a person releases something into the public realm that is so outrageously offensive that it shakes our belief in freedom to its very core.
The most recent example of this heinousness is the Eddie Money-Geico commercial.
In recent weeks it’s been difficult to watch television for any substantial amount of time without encountering this ubiquitous ad. The commercial has shattered my already lackluster opinion of our culture and guaranteed I will never call the insurance behemoth for a quote, no matter how much time they offer to save me. I would rather waste fifteen minutes of my precious day than be associated with a company that has bestowed upon us this Eddie Monstrosity.
Yikes. This commercial makes me hate freedom.
I could type hundreds of pages describing what was so god awful about this ridiculous attempt at humor, but all of my blather would inevitably focus on three main gripes:
I. The State of Eddie Money
I’m not sure what happened to Mr. Money, but he’s not easy to look at. I don’t know if the train wreck that is his face is the result of drug abuse, plastic surgery, or some combination of the two. In any event, it should be a federal offense to point a camera in his general direction. Mickey Rourke, Kenny Rogers, and Joan Rivers think this guy looks frighteningly unnatural.
II. The State of Geico
There’s little doubt that Geico is a giant in the insurance game. There’s also little doubt that this success has either a.) given their executives an unbelievable amount of hubris or b.) given them access to some of the best drugs on the planet. Consider this… someone with a lofty position in the Geico Empire approved this ad, essentially saying, “Hell yes, we want Eddie Money representing our company!” This same executive then saw the finished product and said, “Hell yes, you should put that masterpiece on millions of TVs!”
III. The State of Advertising
The only people more culpable than Geico for this Eddie Money-Geico debacle are the advertising folks. A group of highly paid “creative” people sat in a room for hours brainstorming ideas for Geico ads and this was one of the best ones? Really? A rock singer whose near name is the definition of washed-up has a travel agency, ostensibly just because one of his biggest hits has the word “tickets” in it? Don Draper is rolling over in his grave. (I assume the character did not live to see 2012 based on the miles we’ve seen him put on his body to this point.)
For all of the blustery rhetoric our politicians regurgitate about the greatness of our nation, it’s crap like this Eddie Money commercial that makes me reconsider the whole “freedom and democracy” thing. I mean, it’s great and all, but I bet the Chinese aren’t being subject to this horrific ad. They probably can’t even Google it.
Those lucky, lucky Communist bastards.
Mr. Sunshine 