Americans love the Super Bowl. And why wouldn’t we? It’s a chance for us to come together, eat like pigs, drink like fish, and watch grown men beat the shit out of each other for our amusement.
However, this year’s gluttonously glorious Super Bowl left some people crying foul. I’m not talking about the Niners fans who wanted to see a pass interference penalty called on a late fourth down pass, but rather the killjoys at the Parents Television Council.
The PTC is the same watchdog group that crapped themselves when the world was introduced to Janet Jackson’s nipple during the Halftime Show of Super Bowl XXXVIII. This time around they’re whining to the FCC because Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco dropped an expletive as players celebrated at the end of the game. The cameras just happened to pick up his “fucking awesome” comment and now they’ve got their panties in a bunch and would like to see CBS fined heavily.
For the record, I’d love to see CBS fined heavily, not for accidental profanity, but rather for forcing the nation to endure ten seasons of “Two and Half Men.” But come on, PTC. It was one little four-letter word uttered in the heat of the moment on a live broadcast. It’s not like Americas #1 Network slipped up and broadcast this infamous scene from The Wire:
Look, not everything the PTC does is annoying. Their website seems to be a good tool for parents who want some heavy-handed advice on what movies and TV shows their kids should be watching. And that’s good. But these outcries over minor incidents of profanity and nudity are ridiculous. Do I want my six-year-old talking like McNulty and Bunk on the playground after school? No. Do I let him listen to NWA’s greatest hits while we’re in the car? No. Would I care is he overheard Flacco’s quick, barely audible “fucking awesome” after the game? No.
Why? Because I’m a real parent, not a reactionary boob. If my son heard an inadvertent “fuck” on TV, I’d simply sit him down and explain that sometimes adults use words that aren’t very nice. And that he’s not allowed to use such words because he’s not an adult. Shouldn’t be a hard concept for him to grasp since he lives in a world where adults get to do lots of stuff he can’t do. Like vote. Or drink beer. Or drive a car. Or write blogs complaining about the PTC.
Besides, is what Joe Flacco said really the worst thing children were exposed to during that broadcast? Any kids who sat through the Super Bowl watched a sport so violent that some of their ex-players are suffering traumatic brain issues and some of those guys are killing themselves. They also endured countless commercials that featured beer, violence, and Tracy Morgan. To say nothing of the GoDaddy.com ad that showed a nerd making out with a super model. I mean, what am I supposed to tell my boy about that completely unrealistic portrayal of societal norms?
Hey, PTC, how do I explain this to my kid?
And maybe it’s just me, but aren’t there far bigger fish to fry when it comes to protecting kids? Why don’t these people throw their weight behind some meatier issues that might actually make the world better for children? You know, things like strengthening public education or keeping guns out of the hands of lunatics or not allowing the Catholic Church anywhere near young boys. These issues are far more damaging than overhearing a muddled version of a curse word they probably hear Daddy yell every time he tries to fix something around the house.
Look, you PTC people seem to have your heart in the right place. But these self-righteous profanity crusades make you look like fools that have no real concept of what is actually destroying the lives of American children. There are kids out there that need real help, not sternly worded press releases.
So what do you say? Think you can start lobbying for things that might make a difference? Because if you could, I think that would be fucking awesome.
Mr. Sunshine 